Call the police.. I'VE BEEN ROBBED in Phoenix, AZ!

(In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorney, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. DUN, DUN!)

What demands an answer, but asks no question?? NATURE! And when nature was calling me outside the local, quaint, neighborhood coffee-house #34,592, I did not have time to screen the call. So I did what I usually do with my unattended bike- shift it into the hardest gear and disconnect the brakes. Therefore, severely decreasing the rate of speed at which an individual could make a get-away. And in the off chance they did, I could pursue them until they uncontrollably made a B-line into a car or bush (preferably a car), while pulling the non-existent brakes with white knuckles. I've ran this scenario in my head a few times.

And when I came back out...

My bike was still there!  Sweet.  But since I had to ask an employee for the key to the restroom, she made me swear I would buy something.  I usually don't like using bad words, but I was left with no choice.

I returned the key to the employee and told her I needed to go back to my bike to get some cash.  The employee grabbed the key from me and tried to gauge my truthfulness with a stare reminiscent to my mother's.  Chills went up and down my spine, and if I wasn't going to buy something before, I was now!  I scurried out the door and went straight for the cash pocket on my bike.

But it was completely emptied out of it's contents!  Debit card, $60 cash, a back-up iPhone (in case mine ran out of battery) and a half-eaten Oatmeal Raisin Clif bar!  Really?!  I quickly ask local patrons if they had seen anybody digging through my bicycle, but to no avail.  So I decided to hold my own sting operation.

I placed decoy cash (napkins) in the pocket and hid in the bushes nearby.  But as soon as I smeared mud streaks across my face and got settled in a squat, I had to use the restroom again.  Why do you always have to go to the bathroom as soon as you find a good hiding spot??  Now I had to either hold it, or go back inside again, with no money to buy anything and face... her!  I decided to hold it.  I walked back over to my bicycle, and began to examine for evidence that would lead me to the perpetrator.  

And as luck would have it, I was collecting a TON of inch length, black hair samples!  Until I remembered I got a haircut yesterday...

After exhausting my leads and investigative knowledge acquired from Stabler and Liv, I had no other choice then to hand it over to the professionals.  I started walking towards the street corner and I figured this sign spinner would be a good person to ask directions to the police station.  Which he was!  He immediately pointed confidently in this direction while bobbing his head to the thumping of classic rock.

And then his sign quickly and erratically spun in the opposite direction!

Then this way...

Then that way...

Behind the head...

DUDE?!  I've had enough... I'll find it myself.  After asking a few law-abiding citizens, I found the police station.   An officer sat me down and he started writing a report as I carefully described what happened and exactly what they had taken from me.  The officer then asked me what the phone number was for the phone, in which I could not recall.  As soon as I opened my iPhone to search for the number, my friend text messaged me saying that someone had hacked into my Facebook account and was posting crude statuses!  I frantically logged into Facebook and sure enough, a very suggestive status was posted under my name!  Underneath the status was the location in which it was posted from- Phoenix, AZ.  And along with the location, was a description of the device it was sent from- "Sent from my iPhone"!  The status wasn't sent from YOUR iPhone punk, it was sent from MINE!  The officer and I quarterbacked the plan and I commented under the status- "I'll give you $200 for my phone back.  It has to be tonight though, I'm leaving early tomorrow for work.  Call me at (officer's phone number)."

And 5-minutes later, the officer got a call... (To be continued)

What should we do next??  Do I have any chance at recovering my property?  Should I go undercover as a woman??  Leave your comments and advice below!

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Tour Stop in Yuma, AZ

What a day I had in Yuma!  Who would have known that when I woke up in Arizona's most luxurious resort and spa, Best Western Coronado, I was about to have the most eventful day on the tour thus far?  It all started when I went to have an incredible breakfast in my resort and spa's five star restaurant, The Yuma Landing Bar & Grill.

Where they advertised fresh squeezed orange juice (or by the size of my glass, mandarin orange juice).  And by the look that the thirsty woman with an itchy scalp is giving me, it must be single's night!

As I went to shake my ketchup bottle, I discovered that it was also trivia night!

Umm, wait don't tell me.. Plastic??  Enough with the brainteasers, where is my breakfast?

Just in time, my brain was starting to hurt!  And wow, look at the spread!  Waitress- "Can I get you anything else?"  Me- "Umm, Mickey Mouse pancakes?"

It was just a joke, but turns out she took me rather seriously.  After a hearty breakfast, and a Mickey Mouse joke-off with the waitress, I began riding to Desert Mesa Elementary for an assembly.  As I rode along a dusty highway with crops on either side, I saw a fellow cross-country rider in the distance.  He was riding about 5 mph, so I quickly caught up to him at my 20 mph pace.  I pulled along side of him and we both stopped on the shoulder of the road.  Japanese pop music was blaring out of his headphones as he introduced himself in broken English.  His name is Hiro (pronounced Hero).

He rode his bicycle from Vancouver and will finish in Phoenix in two days, where he will board a flight back to Japan.  But the most amazing thing was that he did it on a little girl's bike!  And this is not a joke, I'm dead serious.  It was a light purple 'Roadmaster' bike, available at all high-end, bulk buying department stores- Wal-Mart.  He shrugged off the many broken parts, cracked plastic pedals (in which he pushed with Converses) and said, "A poor carpenter blames his tools."  Powerful.  And to think I was complaining about my 8 mph pace yesterday, and he was confident that he would reach his destination, eventually, at a 5 mph pace.  And somewhere tonight, he is camping in the middle of the desert between Yuma and Gila Bend.  I noticed that I was running late to the assembly, so we exchanged emails and I pedaled my butt off!  I made it just in time for the mic check and delivered an extra meaningful presentation, after meeting Hiro, highlighting that no goal is too small to accomplish.  Keep reaching for your goal, and no matter how little your progress, it's still PROGRESS!  Assembly... check!  Now it was off to the local NBC station for an interview slot for the 5pm broadcast!

After an incredible interview (click here to watch) with the very lovely Christi Rodriguez (Chicago native, what's up!), it was off to the local newspaper, The Yuma Sun.

That was the last thing on my to-do list, until I remembered I left my shoes in San Diego!  And I refused to walk to dinner in my bike shoes again.  So I biked over to the Wal-Mart.  Since I don't have a bike lock, I asked these lovely ladies to watch my bike for me.

They did have personality, promise!  Sweet, let's go shopping for some sandals!

Not much of a selection.  But I settled on these!

$1.89 for sandals?!?  Don't mind if I do!

My bike hadn't moved since I left (and neither had the ladies).

Let me know you're alive and comment below!

Have you ever seen swans kiss? I have...

Here was today's expected riding itinerary from Brawley, CA to Yuma, AZ.  See Glamis, CA, when I make a right turn towards Yuma?  Remember that spot on the map because when I get there, it's lunchtime!

The itinerary displays an easy and flat 66-mile ride after the 120-mile ride yesterday from San Diego, CA.  I left at 8am and rode into sunny, 70 degree weather.  The day started off optimistically enough, just like this political campaign banner.

You have my vote, Ron Paul (you have for the past 30 years)!  After 3 miles, the optimism multiplied as I rode past a palm tree farm!  What's more optimistic than a palm tree farm?!  Aww, look at the baby palm trees!

I rode 30 miles on a smooth road and arrived into Glamis, CA at 10:02am.  I bought a ham and cheese sandwich and chose to eat outside to enjoy the sights and sounds of Glamis Beach!

 

Wait, you don't see a beach?  Don't worry, there isn't one.  But I did spontaneously squirt my water bottle on the sidewalk to mimic the serene sound of waves crashing ashore on jagged rocks.  After several minutes of meditating to the rhythmic squawking of the seagulls (they were lost), I heard a rumble in the in the distance, but this time it wasn't a wave.  It was a ferocious motorcycle gang and they rolled up ready to shoot!

Ready to shoot pictures of this super bad-O dune buggy, that is!

It turns out they were a group of 20 tourist from the Netherlands!  They were headed cross country on a wide array of sweet motorcycles!  And they were all wearing tank tops, jeans and Napoleon Dynamite approved boots, just like the guy in the picture above.  After chatting with the gang about how cyclist are viewed around the world, I hopped back on the saddle, embarking on the last 35 miles of my day- so I thought.  So far, the ride was a piece of cake as I looked for the right turn that would lead me into Yuma, AZ.  After riding a mile, I arrived to the right turn (or lack of).

Yep, there it is.  Apparently, I was supposed to hitch a ride with a dune buggy into Yuma.  So I re-routed on my GPS.

I was suppose to ride through the diagonal line of small towns straight to Yuma.  Instead, I had to take a 30-mile detour through the sand dunes.  Ok, no sweat!  I started down the detour but was quickly met with a 30 mph head wind!  Ok, SWEAT!  As I rode down the sand covered road, each passing truck bringing a sand storm, I struggled to keep a 8 mph pace.  I rode for 2 hours and covered 15 miles.  I ran out of food and water, with more than 30 miles until I reached the next gas station.  After pedaling my little heart off for 2 hours, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the heaviest Shell sign in the world!

So heavy, it had to be held up by three poles!  Incredible.  After gulping a 89-ounce lemon lime Gatorade and scarfing down three frozen burritos, I set off on the last 19 miles of my ride down Interstate-8.  After a grueling and exfoliating day, I finally arrived into Yuma, AZ!  And lucky for me, the most luxurious resort and spa in all of Arizona had sponsored my tour stop in Yuma! 

The staff here at The Best Western Coronado is simply incredible!  Wait until you see the inside of my room!

What was the first thing you noticed?

The kissing swans??  Me too!  And now, every time the ride gets excruciatingly tough, I will think of kissing swans.  Dang it!  WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT SWAN?!